I don’t know what it is about me
But I always clam up when it comes to being responsible. It’s hard for me to care about anything enough to make me stick with it and it effects my ability to perform. I’m bad at deadlines, I’m bad at time management and prioritizing. In contrast it seems like I’m great at sleeping in and wasting my time. But it’s just not enough for me anymore. I’m always told of this great talent and potential I have and I’ve never had a problem with developing something excellent but my process is all wrong andI won’t get by on that alone and this is something I know and agree with. I look at people who are so driven and passinate and I feel like that used to be me. I used to draw for hours, I used to study and care about things and it all fell apart for me. Everything just started to look like it was all work and no fun and I lost myself. I’m very sensative to this because I feel like a failure and dissapointment to myself and all the people who put their faith in me.
But I just can’t stand a life of doing nothing. I can’t stand not working for something. It makes me feel like I can’t handle things when they get hard and that not who I am. I was never like this when I was younger. I’m going to work hard to change my life around because I only have this last chance to do it. I want to make my family and friends proud. I want to make my teachers proud but mostly I want to make myself proud.
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justmybonnie said:
Don’t you worry. You’re gonna be a superstar! :) I felt the same way when I started college. Three colleges later, I’m finally starting to feel somewhat “normal” again. Just remember that everyone’s proud of you. You got mad skills little miss :)
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heclinemarie posted this
